One Night
by lefcadio
Summary: Sephiroth x Cloud. PreNibelheim mission: Cloud meets his hero for the first time.


**Notes**: Written for bardlinn. 3 Happy Christmas:D This was insanely hard to write. :p I wouldn't be surprised if I never wrote S/C again ; But, I hope you like it, even though I don't quite feel comfortable with the way the characterisations turned out. You said you liked fluff, so... I tried. :D

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It always appeared as though the corridors were perpetually dark. Grey walls and ceiling, a patchy floor with unidentified stains, and the whole place suffering from an odd metallic sheen of industrialism. Unmarked doors lined the hallway, ominous in the silence. People rarely came this way, it seemed - and when they did out of necessity, took care not to linger. Such an atmosphere was not unusual for areas of the ShinRa Military Headquarters, though; situated at the inner tip of sector two in Midgar, the dull, oppressive aura was almost to be expected.

These days, Cloud hardly even noticed it. After a full year covering basic training and assignments, life tended to become fairly rote: eating, sleeping, drilling. It barely even required thinking about. When he looked back on his life up until this point, he tended to laugh, albeit bitterly. Cloud didn't _resent_ that fact that he had ended up here - he knew that, if he worked up the courage to ever take a good, long look at himself, he'd most likely end up concluding he deserved it. So instead, he drifted from day to day, mindlessly trying to ignore the fact that his dreams had been shattered, and that he was a failure.

He'd never really had any friends in Nibelheim, and despite wanting to put all of that behind him... he had to dully admit that, here too, he was generally by himself. Not exactly out of _choice_ - truth be told, Cloud wanted nothing more than to belong; to be accepted and be part of a trustworthy group of friends - even if it _was_ here, with the normal foot-soldiers of ShinRa. But - (inevitably, he now told himself) - it had not happened. He found himself too awkward and inept; inhibited by his shyness, he fumbled his words and so said very little. It was his childhood all over again: nervous silence mistaken for aloofness and cold superiority. Before long, it was too late to try and join in the warm, rough camaraderie, and Cloud soon found himself alone again.

He trudged along the corridor, navy uniform worn and still slightly too big for him, helmet tucked under one arm. Occasionally, he found himself struggling to remember why exactly he wanted to join SOLDIER in the first place; and then, failing that, the normal ShinRa military. But then, there would always be two people who stood out in his memory from that time - two people who had made the prospect just seem so worthwhile...

Not that he could face either of them, now.

Although, thinking about it clinically; one of them didn't even know that he existed, so he supposed he was alright there.

"Hey, Cloud!" He heard that familiar voice call out to him cheerfully from behind, and felt his heart lighten, just a little. Although he had no real friends among the foot-soldiers he shared dorms and drills with... he still had Zack.

Their meeting had been an accident, really - back when Cloud had still been a relatively fresh recruit, he had managed to get lost among the grey maze of hallways. As much as he hated himself for it, he had to admit he was very clumsy; and that, coupled with failing to look where he was going... well, Cloud just counted himself lucky that Zack was such a forgiving individual. He still remembered looking up dazedly - since it had been something like walking into a brick wall - and seeing an outstretched arm and friendly smile, and a pair of amazing glowing eyes.

Cloud didn't really know what Zack had seen in him, but he was glad for it: Zack taught him to open up a little, and helped his confidence grow.

"Hey." He turned and raised a hand in greeting, a small smile creeping into his face as he saw the dark-haired man striding down the corridor towards him. Cloud enjoyed spending time with Zack - there was so much about him he admired; wished to emulate. That confidence, open friendliness and strength... not to mention that he was in SOLDIER, and was, as Cloud had been shocked and secretly elated to discover, apparently friends with Sephiroth.

_"All the anger and hatred I bore him, made it impossible for me to ever forget him. That and what he gave me."_

Sephiroth... even thinking the name still sent a strange thrill through Cloud's body. If only... if only he had been strong enough to make it into SOLDIER. The knowledge that he just wasn't good enough still sickened him, even now.

Zack caught up with him and grinned. "Long time, huh?"

"Yeah," Cloud smiled ruefully and shrugged a little, "we were shipped off to Junon for a while, you know? Hardly the most exciting of trips..."

Zack laughed, and they carried on, finally turning the corner at the end of the long hallway. It was true; it _had_ been a long time. They rarely got to spend time together, as Zack's missions with SOLDIER tended to clash with the few breaks Cloud was allowed. "You can say that again... though Junon's not the worst by a long shot; you should try Corel! Now _there's_ a dive. Junon doesn't have a lot goin' for it - but the girls aren't half bad!"

Cloud half-shrugged and smiled a little uncomfortably as Zack grinned and elbowed him in the side. He didn't have the heart to tell him that the thought hadn't even crossed his mind the entire time he'd been there. Cloud had just been eager to get there, carry out ShinRa's orders, and get back. Midgar could hardly be called anyone's ideal home... but for the moment, it was all he had.

"So... you got anything lined up with SOLDIER?" Cloud hoped the abrupt change of subject wasn't too obvious - but in honesty, he was interested to know. In some ways it was painful to hear about all the difficult and weird missions that Zack was assigned; things that only the elite of the ShinRa military could take on; things that Cloud had always daydreamed about doing himself someday. But... Zack was his friend, and twinges of jealousy aside, he loved to hear the stories of what Zack had been up to.

And then, sometimes, Zack would talk about Sephiroth. He seemed to gain endless amusement from Cloud's apparent reverence of the man, and was forever trying to persuade him that Sephiroth did, in fact, have his normal moments.

"Nah," Zack shoved his hands in his pockets and gave an exaggerated sigh of relief, "for once we actually get some time off! Hey..." He paused for a moment and then smirked, tilting his head casually to one side. "You're off this evening, right Cloud?"

"Um... yeah, why?" He turned to look at his friend curiously, wondering why Zack seemed so pleased with himself.

"And you're not up early tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"Perfect!" Zack said brightly, clapping Cloud on the shoulder and then letting go a little guiltily as the other stumbled. Sometimes he forgot Cloud wasn't built like he was, especially when he'd been with other SOLDIERs for several solid weeks. "Uh - yeah. In that case, we're goin' drinking."

Cloud's face lit up with a rare smile, and he nodded. "Sure. Anyplace in mind?"

"Absolutely!" They slowed to a stop as they reached the dorms area. "Just a nice bar I know... don't think you've been there before, though."

Cloud ran a hand through his hair, grimacing as he broke up the dried sweat that had been sticking it together. God, he needed a shower... "Sounds good; I'll meet you later, then...?"

"Yeah, yeah... usual place, at eight I guess." Zack turned as though to go, but then stopped a few steps away and looked back. "Oh, yeah... an' Sephiroth's coming this time, too," he added casually, pretending to be oblivious to Cloud's stunned reaction.

"...w - what?" Cloud's lips were parted in surprised, and he shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the helmet in his hands.

"Oh, c'mon... it's not that bad! Trust me, it'll be funny." Zack rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as Cloud seemed to remain entirely unconvinced.

"..._funny_?" Cloud raised an eyebrow. He could feel his stomach twisting itself up already - he'd assumed it would just be Zack and him, like usual. His friend had always complained that Sephiroth barely _ever_ went out with him; evidently this was going to be one of those times, but still... Cloud didn't think he could imagine anything more embarrassing or awkward.

Zack was hurriedly trying to convince Cloud that it was still a good plan. "Well, yeah! I mean, think about it... how many people d'you think have ever seen 'General Sephiroth' get smashed? Trust me... he barely ever goes for alcohol; I bet _you_ could out drink him... er, maybe. But, still, Sephiroth can't hold his liquor worth shit, so it'll be fine, you'll see."

Cloud shook his head in defeat and sagged wearily back against the door as Zack looked at him hopefully. "Yeah, yeah...okay...see you later..." and Zack grinned in triumph as Cloud distractedly turned and punched a code into the keypad beside the door, disappearing inside.

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He knocked back a shot, a shudder running through him as the alcohol burned its way unpleasantly down the back of his throat. He knew it: he'd been inevitably proved right. It _had_ been a terrible idea. Of course, Zack still didn't seem to think so, talking even more loudly once he had a few drinks inside him - somehow managing to have a continuous conversation with both of them... despite the fact that neither he nor Sephiroth were responding much. Thankfully, Cloud had noted, an occasional nod of the head seemed to satisfy his friend.

"So, y'know... I said to her - how about it? But she didn' look too impressed, I gotta say..."

If he were being perfectly honest, Cloud would have to admit that he wasn't really listening. He knew that Zack was only trying to come up with things to talk about so that the awkward silence wouldn't take over - and thus far he was actually doing a pretty good job. He shook his head a little, focusing on staring down at the bar, as though the dark, stained grain of the wood were actually interesting. He had eventually conceded that the place itself wasn't too bad - especially compared to some of the bars that Zack had dragged him to. It might be dirty, have an odd smell, and be home to a strange man muttering to himself in the corner - but to be fair, that was the norm in lower-Midgar (as was Cloud getting served without a second glance, despite him being underage, and most definitely looking it). The fact a fight hadn't broken out yet was a definite point in its favour.

He took a deep breath as he saw Zack's hand reach out for the bottle in front of them and pour some of the amber liquid into all of their glasses. Cloud really wasn't a whisky person, but had been forcing the stuff down regardless, hoping that if he got drunk enough then perhaps he'd stop noticing the flavour of the drink, as well the man he was pointedly not looking at. Well, pointedly not looking at _most_ of the time. He could still feel his cheeks heating up with embarassment at the mere memory of it: Zack enthusiastically, cheerfully introducing him to Sephiroth as if it were the most normal thing in the world. And what did he do? Stammer nervously and blush like an idiot, refusing to meet the other man's eyes, Zack trying his hardest not to laugh, and Sephiroth looking him over coolly, glowing green eyes narrowed and speculative; he didn't say a word.

_Way to make a complete and utter fool of yourself in front of your hero, Cloud._

Cloud knew when he was younger he must have imagined meeting Sephiroth hundreds of times; a legendary hero of the Wutai war, and his inspiration to...try... and join SOLDIER. And when it had happened, finally, _this_ was how it had turned out. He only took a sip of the next shot, grimacing as it ended up being an even fouler way of trying to get it down. He decided he was verging on being pleasantly drunk, now; unlike Zack who had been downing them at twice the rate, and was clearly much further gone. Though the alcohol was stubbornly refusing to get rid of his embarrassment, at least it was gradually ebbing away his shyness.

He risked another furtive glance at Sephiroth, and watched him slowly sipping his drink, occasionally murmuring something quietly in response to Zack's noisy monologues. His face was still calm, almost expressionless; Cloud found himself studying the other man's profile in fascination (later he would blame it on the alcohol, of course) - his forehead, the line of his nose, the curves of his lips...

_"...I was mesmerised by the way Sephiroth fought..."_

Cloud jumped as it suddenly struck him that Sephiroth had obviously noticed, and was looking directly at him, one eyebrow raised. Cloud wordlessly fumbled for an explanation, as Zack shouted at the barman for another bottle.

_Great, you were obviously staring, idiot. Now he's going to think you're a freak as well as an incoherent moron._

It hadn't occurred to him that the alcohol must be affecting Sephiroth as well, but as he finally dared to meet the other's eyes, he couldn't help but notice how they were ever-so-slightly unfocused. And then, without a word, Sephiroth was facing the bar again, and Cloud was ignored once more. Cloud felt a little of the tension escape him as he slumped forwards onto the bar, resting his head on his arms. The surface was sticky and unpleasant, but at the moment Cloud just couldn't bring himself to care. He felt someone tug on his hair, and looked up to find Zack peering down at him, blinking rapidly in an attempt to bring him into focus, no doubt.

"Hey... you ok?" It was taking Zack a bit more effort to get his words out now, so Cloud gave him a small smile and nodded, knowing that Zack tended to get a lot more worried about him when he was drunk.

"Yeah. Though I'm not so sure about you," he said teasingly, giving Zack an ineffectual push and sitting up again. The dark-haired man started to protest, insisting that he was completely sober, and Cloud was surprised to see that, in the seat beyond his friend, Sephiroth was smiling.

...well, it was technically more of a smirk, but despite that... it pleased Cloud inexplicably to see it; up until today, he had only ever seen Sephiroth in pictures or from afar - and on all of those occasions he had worn the same, solemn expression.

"'m fine!" Zack was saying, thumping his fist on the bar for emphasis, "...altho', actually..." he reached for the bottle then, taking a long swig and ignoring Cloud's raised hand of protest, "...yeah. 'm gonna... I'll be righ' back. Just gonna go puke--"

And with a pained expression, Zack was out the door.

Cloud sighed and shook his head, taking another small drink from his own glass. "...he always does this to himself... think he must enjoy it, really."

"...which is why I rarely agree to join him," Sephiroth said dryly, taking the bottle and pouring, with a slightly unsteady hand, more for himself and Cloud. They sat drinking in silence for a while, Cloud all too aware of exactly who it was that he was sitting with. He gulped down a little more, trying to work up the courage to say something.

_But what? What can you say that could possibly be interesting to someone like Sephiroth?_

"So... um... d'you like being in SOLDIER?" Cloud regretted the question as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

_Stupid, stupid,_ stupid!

To his surprise Sephiroth didn't sneer or laugh in his face; instead he turned to look at him, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. And he shrugged. It was such an absurdly casual, _normal_ gesture that Cloud almost laughed, lips parted a little in surprise. He shifted a little self-consciously, as Sephiroth seemed to be studying him, still silent.

He fidgeted awkwardly in the silence, wishing he could disappear so Sephiroth would stop looking at him. "Uh...okay, well--" He knew he was about to begin babbling nervously (and blamed it entirely on the drink, as was becoming a habit tonight) and was completely unprepared for Sephiroth's interruption.

"--where are you from?" The green eyes were looking at him - not _curiously_, but--

"Well... 'm from a place called Nibelheim," he mumbled, staring down into the remains of his glass.

_"...How does it feel? It's your first time back to your hometown in a long time, right? So how does it feel?..."_

"Hmm."

Cloud ventured a glance, surprised that Sephiroth had apparently taken an interest in him.

_It's not exactly like I'm a fascinating person or anything._

"...why did you join ShinRa?" Cloud froze at the unexpected question, throat tightening as he searched desperately for something to say that didn't involve the truth. But he was drunk, and his mind was slightly fuzzy, and his ability to think quickly was next to none. Thankfully, though Sephiroth was still managing to look quite self-possessed, the strange way he was looking at Cloud revealed he wasn't quite as sober as he was pretending to be.

"Um...well...it wasn't really that I wanted to join _ShinRa_, you know? I... I wanted to join SOLDIER." He looked down then, tapping his fingers against the wood of the bar distractedly. "I... I told everyone that I was going to," he let out a small, bitter laugh, still refusing to look at Sephiroth, "but... well." Cloud gestured at himself. "Evidently, I failed. It was..." He bit his lip, trying to remember why saying things like this would probably be a bad idea. "... you. I mean, why I always wanted to join SOLDIER..." He trailed off.

_...that's why. Because you'll only embarrass yourself._

"Me?" Sephiroth was looking at him, mouth twisted into a frown, green eyes surprised. "That's... insane."

It was Cloud's turn to shrug as Sephiroth reached out and downed the rest of his drink. "...probably. I always thought I'd make it; I had it all planned out..." He stood up abruptly, bar stool falling to the floor with a clatter behind him. Thinking about this... and talking about it to _Sephiroth_, of all people... it was painful.

_And you're weak, you_ know _you're weak, so might as well just run; won't make any difference._

"Zack... he's been gone a long time... better go find him." Cloud murmured, swaying slightly as the world seemed to refuse to stay still. He took a few tentative steps forward, and decided he could just about manage, albeit slowly. He jumped as he suddenly felt someone grip his arm tightly, practically tugging him along.

"Come on... you can barely walk."

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Sephiroth grabbing him had perhaps not been the best idea. The alcohol had rushed to Cloud's head as he attempted to walk, and he lurched slowly down the dark, dingy alleyway, breath misting in the cold air as he dragged the SOLDIER along with him. Small, icy crystals were beginning to fall, and Cloud stopped and gazed at them, suddenly finding the little snowflakes to be the most amazing thing in the world.

"Hey." Sephiroth tugged him along impatiently, evidently completely oblivious to his superior strength: Cloud couldn't help but topple over, falling into him as the world span.

_You're an idiot, Cloud._

He looked up, and found that he was clutching the back of Sephiroth's coat, material fisted in his cold hands, arms around the other's waist. It was utterly surreal. Sephiroth was looking down at him, motionless, and for once his expression was unguarded. He looked... almost confused. His face was shadowed, and Cloud found he could only focus on... his lips...

_You're a huge, huge idiot, Cloud._

He straightened up, his breathing uneven because of the proximity. This wasn't happening. But... if he reached up... and stood on his toes... and closed his eyes...

Cloud somehow hadn't expected Sephiroth's lips to be so warm. All he could smell was the alcohol, and the sharp bite of the winter cold in the air. This was a dream... right?

_Of course. This wouldn't really happen, not to you._

The gentle, tentative repsonse couldn't be real. But then he was being pushed away, so maybe it could.

"...how old are you, Cloud?" He blinked, and saw those unfocused green eyes; their glow more pronounced in this darkness outside.

"F - fifteen..." he forced out, shivering in the cold, and more fascinated by the shining strands of Sephiroth's hair.

Cloud thought he saw an expression of horror pass across the other's features; but that couldn't be, could it? But it lasted for only a second, so Cloud had forgotten it a moment later, taking a step back to smile slightly drunkenly, "s'okay... right?"

And then Zack was stumbling around the corner, waving at them cheerfully as he unsteadily walked over to join them.

Cloud didn't see Sephiroth again until the Nibelheim mission. The coldness, the distance... he had expected it. Ever since he had woken up the morning after, head pounding unpleasantly, _that_ look of horror imprinted upon his memories.

Along with that soft, gentle kiss.

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Years later, Cloud would remember that one night, vividly burned into his mind. He always preferred to tell himself that it was a dream; that way it hurt a little less.


End file.
